Are You Ready to Be Coached?

The ICF definition of coaching is: “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Essentially, coaching is a frank and fearless real conversation with a real person — enquiry and insight into the client’s world to help them move from where they are now to where they would like to be.

It is a space of deep presence between coach and client where all thoughts and feelings are welcomed to be explored, thought about and worked through for the best outcome for the client and their sphere of influence.

A coach does not give advice, teach, counsel or provide therapy. A coach is more like a mirror who asks questions, listens deeply, champions growth, and reflects back what they hear or sense — highlighting possibilities, areas for growth, and underlying patterns or strategies so the client can create what they seek.

The coach knows the client is the expert in their life, and that coach and client are equals in every way. A coach may help you gain clarity around a situation, determine goals or visions for the future, create timelines, stay on track, debrief, or simply have a positive, supportive space to share your thoughts and leave with further fieldwork or thinking to do.

Mentoring is very similar to coaching and contains all of the qualities above. In mentoring, however, the client is seeking to explore an area in which the mentor has already achieved some success.

Mentor and client contract to help the client find their own way forward — not simply “do what I say” or have the mentor tell the client what to do. The client remains the expert in their life.

The mentor brings wisdom to the conversation and may occasionally offer methods or approaches that worked for them. That wisdom is always handed back to the client to consider, test, and apply uniquely to their own situation.

Therapy and counselling often dwell in the past to bring resolution and acceptance to something that has been preventing a client from achieving their potential.

In coaching, it can be helpful to review the past — but past events are treated as things that occurred, which the client can now let go of and move beyond. Coaching acknowledges those events and honours the validity of their impact, then explores: “With that knowledge and understanding, where to from here?”

Teaching is where someone wishes to learn a new skill, close gaps in education or capability, and become able to carry out a certain task or process. A good teacher may use mentoring and coaching, plus teaching skills such as “do this” and “do it this way,” then review what was learned. Coaching and mentoring assume the individual is able and capable; when skill gaps appear, training is sought in collaboration with the mentor, coach or supervisor.

Consulting is where a person or team is brought in to impart a system or way of doing something so the organisation or individual can achieve a set outcome. A consultant may use coaching and mentoring, as well as instructing people to “do it this way.”

Parenting is where an adult is a figure of authority, directly responsible for the wellbeing and growth of a child or someone who cannot fully comprehend their own safety or wellbeing. Parenting may use coaching and mentoring strategies, but responsibility rests with the parent and there is no true equality in the relationship.