whitetopHamster wheels – we all have them on the inside. Something happened to us one day in some barely remembered past moment, and BAM! In that moment we made it mean something and set it in stone.  And since then, every time something that even remotely reminds us of that original incident we hop on our hamster wheel of expectation and recreate the same thing with the same outcome.


Now, this may be ok if it’s a useful thing, but often it’s not.  It becomes one of those “You always…” or “He/she never…” or “Why does this always happen to me?” out of control scenarios that we watch unfolding around us like helpless bystanders… ALL our buttons being madly pushed as we desperately try to find the “STOP” button.
But the good news is that it DOESN’T have to be like this!  We are amazingly creative creatures – we create our reality through our beliefs combining with the Universe’s desire to help us grow and evolve.


So… if you really WANT to go around recreating the old stuff that you’ve outgrown, that’s fine.  But I want to grow and get to the next level in this game of life.  And if you do, too, which I suspect you might, here are some things I’ve learned along the way.


First up – you have to do the inner work.  This isn’t some weekend workshop or a few sessions with a therapist or a coach.  It’s the gutsy, gritty, deep inner work which strips you bare and reveals the pain… it’s not for the faint-hearted, it’s for those with the courage to want to know and those who want to heal.  Truly and for real heal… It takes time, commitment, constancy and consistency of doing the work.  Everyone has it within their reach if they want it.  You just need to choose it and commit. And find someone who is already healed to work alongside you.  Be discerning and trust your feeling on who to work with.  This is key – work with someone who is clearer than you are.
But, in the interim, what do you do?  Well, here are a few habits which can support you as you do the real work within.


Step one: hit the ‘pause’ button… call an ‘all stop’ on the crazy roller coaster.  Just STOP.  Take stock.  Breathe.  You’ve lost presence – as in you are currently no longer actually responding to the present moment – you have activated the past and you are reacting to the present moment from the past.  You are no longer truly present in your body.


So what do you do?  Take a moment… and another big breath – it will allow blood and oxygen to get to your addled and stressed brain so you can get back into the present moment!


Take stock – what are you feeling? I mean REALLY feeling? Not just emoting, although that is certainly part of it… but what is also going on in your physical body, in your mind and in your Soul?


Acknowledge for yourself how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what’s going on in your body.  Acknowledge that something has triggered you, something has got under your skin and you are reacting.


Understand that the root cause of the reaction is not from this moment – something happened “somewhen” and you made it mean something… this is just reminding you of that past moment.  


What if this was an opportunity to let go of something?  What if this is the Universe sending you a chance to heal something from the past?  What if your future self could whisper in your ear, what would it say to you?  If you were on your final day on earth and could look back to this moment… is it worth the reaction?  Or will you simply allow the feelings to flow on through, let them go, straighten yourself up and make a new choice.  Not suppress – that will just mean it comes around again next time.  I mean REALLY let it go.  Just make the decision that you’re done with that circus and those monkeys and you’re ready to move on.  Thanks. But no thanks.


Take another breath, let it all go with gratitude for the experience – hopefully you learnt something – and now you’re choosing the next phase of your life!
Any time that the past rears its head again (and it will just to check if you’re really done with this) simply apply the same principle – stop, take stock, reflect, feel, acknowledge, thank it and say good bye.  And step into the new choice again – reaffirming this is now, not then.


Accept your past by making peace with it, accept your present with confidence and accept your future with courage and hope.  Find someone who can support you and do the inner work.